hard deadlines

Go read Thomas Kalinowski's hlarious and devastating deconstruction of Captain Mike Caldwell's op-ed piece in the Newport Daily News. Go. Read it now. You'll thank me. Just have to share one line:

Yeah, run, Joe Bish! Run and hide, you dirty smelly hippie! Cap'n Mike has pwned your sorry ass! Bow down and grovel before the rhetorical might of the mighty Cap'n Mike Caldwell!

I laughed out loud. Can't wait for the next installment.

Update: Part 2 us up. Even better than the first one. Kalinowski hits his stride and takes no prisoners.

Update2: Eileen Spillane, the lead blogger at RI12, looks into the background of "Captain Mike" of the NDN op-ed, and can't seem to find anything on this long-time Middletown resident. Read about it here.

Update 3: The final installment of Kalinowski's rip-and-read rant is up at RI12, and it is chock full of snarky deliciousness. Please go read and enjoy the whole thing. But I can't resist quoting a favorite retort to Captain Mike's attack on culture destructor first class Michelle Obama:

No, Cap'n Mike, that's not the America that Michelle Obama means. After all, you and your fellow wingnuts have spent the last forty years trying to kill that America and replace it with one where the government spies on its citizens and launches pointless invasions of other countries and tortures prisoners and drives down wages and eliminates old age pensions. And you've done such a good job that the America that fought fascism has been replaced by an America that is duplicating fascism's worst features.
— via RI Twelfth

As I said in a recent post, our most powerful illusion is that it couldn't happen here. All it takes is a scan of Captain Mike's text to realize that there are a lot of people working to make that a lie.

"Mandrake, have you ever seen a Commie drink a glass of water?" — IMDB